I’m not talking about the “F” Bomb per se, but words that are even more detrimental to your well being. Phrases like:

“You’re killing me.”

“I couldn’t possibly_______.”

“I can’t stand ____________.”

“Why is this happening to me?”

You might not even be aware that you’re saying it; as it’s become a habit and it just rolls off your tongue. Why does it matter? Simply put, your thoughts and words literally create the outer circumstances in your life. What you say is taken as a direct command to your subconscious mind, which makes up your reality.

Perhaps you’ve heard the story from Napolean Hill’s “Think and Grow Rich” Classic Book about a banker from the mid-west, Joseph Grant, who borrowed a large amount of money without permission from his management. He lost it all to gambling. When they checked the status of his account, Grant had left the bank and camped out at a local hotel room. Three days later, they found him lying in a bed moaning and wailing and repeating the following words over and over again “My God, this will kill me! I cannot stand the disgrace.” Soon afterwards, he was pronounced dead. The doctors attributed his death to “mental suicide.”

The real question is, would you talk that way to a good friend, a client or a small child? Why would you talk to yourself that way? With words like those, it’s no wonder you may not be in such a happy place.

What to do instead?

Reframe your statements or pick new ones that better serve you. Try on these empowering statements:

“I can do this!”

“I’m a problem-solver!”

“I can handle anything that comes my way!”

“I’m solutions-oriented.”

“I’ll figure it out.”

“Anything is possible.”

“How can I make it happen?”

“I’ve got this!”

“What can I learn from this?”

Try this quick exercise: If you’re in an okay mood, read these statements out loud at least 3 times and say it like you mean it. How do you feel? Notice any difference? If you’re in a not so great mood, take a quick break, walk around the block – do something to get your body moving for 10-15 minutes, then come back and try it or if you want to experiment, do a before (even in a low mood) and an after and see if you notice any differences.

Changing a habit like this isn’t going to happen overnight and that’s okay. Just imagine if you start putting this small change into practice and how you’ll feel if you do it a few times a day.

Here are 3 simple steps you can take to get yourself back on track:

1. Be aware of the words you’re using. Jot them down in a notebook or record yourself on your phone.

2. Brainstorm a list of positive replacement words or phrases. Pick ones you prefer or add to the examples above and make them your own.

3. Practice catching yourself saying or thinking the old phrase (expect it – as it’s part of the process). Then replace it with your new sparkling positive phrase.

Bonus Tip: Make a game out of it. We can call it the Reframe Game. Here’s how to play: Anytime a negative thought comes up (and they will). Challenge yourself and see if you can reframe or replace it with a positive statement or question immediately! The more you do it, the better you’ll get at it.

I’d also encourage you to start a notebook or journal to keep track of your thoughts, feelings and actions so you can see your own progress and the differences yourself. Here’s a sample of what that would look like:

	Before	After
Thoughts	You’re kidding me! This can’t be happening! This sucks!	What an interesting opportunity! Where’s the humor in this situation? What can I learn from this?
Feelings	Depressed Unhappy Grumpy	Hopeful Curious Content
Behavior	Identifies with a Victim Mindset: Why is this happening to me again? Acts like everything’s a drag.	Identifies with a Winning Mindset: Takes actions to turn it around! You’ve got an extra bounce in your step.
Impact on Others	Similar to when you’ve had a bad day and pass along the negativity to each person you encounter, until someone in the family “kicks the dog” so to speak. (Hopefully there’s no actual kicking of the dog)	You may brighten someone else’s day with your new outlook! Just imagine how that will positively impact those around that individual! It’ll be a positive ripple effect!

If you need more help and/or accountability in implementing changes like these, feel free to book a free consult with me here: Contact – The Non-Profit Path (nonprofitpath.com)

Also, check out this FREE Guide on “How to Focus on your Priorities” – an interactive Workbook to get you back on track: Home – The Non-Profit Path (nonprofitpath.com)